Yep, you read right, I am a failure. Why? Oh… that’s because I was born to fail. That’s because I don’t make enough effort towards my success, or that is what my mind tells me at least. The truth? I feel undeserving of success, other people deserve it more than I do, because they are way more talented, they truly dedicate themselves to their dreams, I’m not- I’m a failure, I am a lazy bum, I just want to lie down in my house and be a complete loser.
Harsh, right? Well, these are the thoughts I’m facing each day since my decision to quite ordinary life. Ha, like that isn’t enough for these thoughts to prove my dedication. Why do I need to prove myself to anyone anyway? Maybe it’s because we were taught in our society that success isn’t something for everyone, it is only for the hard-workers, for these special people who do crazy things, for those ones who are just really talented, unlike you. Maybe it’s because we need to earn degrees to prove our worth and get straight A’s. Maybe it’s because it’s something so sick and so deep in our society, that worth comes with work, instead of worth working for us.
After a great morning self-inquiry, I saw how much SHIT I’m feeding myself with. Funny, then I hate myself for feeling unmotivated. DUH! If you keep telling yourself that you’ll never succeed no matter what you do, that you’re the embodiment of failure, why would you work your ass off for your goals?
Since I quit national service, I’ve been triggered as hell. Every single relaxed moment is provoking the thought: “huh, look at you, you’re doing nothing to succeed. You’re a lazy bum. All you wanna do is just sit here and do absouletly nothing. You’ll never succeed, it doesn’t work that way. You have to prove it, you have to put effort, you have to dedicate yourself and you never will, because you’re innately a failure, innately lazy and lazy people don’t want to do anything to succeed”. What?! Is that what you have to face everyday and you still not giving up? What the hell are you?
Exactly. That is what I should tell myself. That in spite all of these discouraging thoughts, I still put up 3 videos every week, learn and do astrology and sing. No matter how much shit I’m being told in that awfully good mind record. The truth about success is that you never give in to negativity, to criticism, to failing. The truth about success is that you own it from the moment you wanted it. Successful people succeed because they want it and they are willing to go forward and get up regardless of these idiot people who tell you that you’re nothing special.
However, it is not easy. It is not easy at all. A lot of people give in to these voices because they are too strong. They lack support from within and without and most of all- lack the awareness of these thoughts. They are so used to hearing these words, that they forget it is in their heads. Awareness is truly the key for getting off this cycle. Teal Swan work helped me exactly with that and if you’re not familiar with her work, check her out. It is truly a gift.
You are not innately a failure; you shouldn’t suffer to prove your worth and deserving. Yeah, there are a lot of talented people and because you admire them, you think they are better. That’s not the case mister. You deserve success, recognition and financial abundance as much as they do. You don’t know it, but they fought these voices too. You freaking deserve anything you want just because you want it and that’s just about enough motivation you need to succeed and do anything you can and know to achieve it. Laziness is an ugly scam. No one is lazy, some just gave in.
The biggest proof that I want and deserve it is that no matter how hard, strong, negative and discouraging these beliefs in my mind are, I don’t give up. If I was “lazy”, a “failure”, a “burden”- I would have stopped trying a long time ago. I’d do what most people do- give up on my dreams and do the 9 to 5 slavery for the rest of my life. If you gave up, it is never too late to become aware of the lies you’ve been told by yourself and society. IT IS NEVER TOO LATE. Come on, fly! You can do it! I know you can.